"It's a Good Day to be an Adult and an Eagle."
(Originally published in the Maple River Messenger)
Note: High School Office Secretary Gloria Langworthy frightened me, so as a clueless student-teacher, I avoided Gloria and turned to the helpful student-assistant, Sarah Kauffmann for all my copying needs. Decades later, she returned to my life when I taught her two children. (I still struggled with the copier).
To borrow a military metaphor, those who serve in combat become a “band of brothers” through their shared experiences. Yet guess what is commonly credited as the #1 fear in both teens and adults? While it should be combat, (followed closely by Gloria Langworthy while collecting attendance slips), public speaking is the most common answer. Back in the spring of 1995, a nervous Mr. Willis sat down to grade his first set of speeches while a very nervous Sarah Kauffman fretted for her turn. Sarah had reason to fear the speech: she’d been hiding a learning disability for several years. Now, she talks about it openly. “I was really ashamed that I had a learning disability, and I didn't like people to know it. I hid that and then my junior and senior year I'm like ‘Screw it. I don't care if I am different. It's okay and I don't have to learn everything like everyone else.’ I learned in a different way.”
Finding successes outside of assignments came much easier for her. A self-described “social butterfly,” Sarah was in band, helped make the yearbook, and enjoyed attending sporting events. While never a star athlete, she enjoyed cheering on teams like the boys basketball team on their way to the state championship. During those final years in school, she found another path: helping others. “I started working in the high school office after school. Working in the office was very helpful. I got paid! When Gloria had to leave earlier or whatever, I would answer the phones, copy things that teachers would bring in, and tell people where to go.”
Sarah found a determination to get through that speech, but admitted, “I liked school but school didn’t really like me. School was hard. Because I had dyslexia and a learning disability, I struggled remembering things. Those speeches we had to learn from memory–it was hard.”
Having met her high school sweetheart and future husband in 9th grade, Sarah will soon be celebrating her twenty-fifth wedding anniversary to Quentin McCarthy. Together, they run McCarthy Oil, where she does the bookwork. Two days a week, she works at Maple Mart, and apart from that, she helps her two children–now 23 and 22–chase after their dreams.
As much as Sarah liked helping others in high school, she’d soon find herself in need of help when life threw her a curveball that proved to be a lot harder than getting through a speech. “On November 9th 2012, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Having to deal with that and, two young children at home,” proved to be an unexpected challenge. “Our life was kind of put on hold; we couldn't travel. I couldn't work, and Quintin was taking on the role of provider for everything. He wasn't used to that because he was working and I took the kids everywhere and did everything on that end.” Sarah described how her village ended up helping her in her year of need. “My mom and dad helped out a lot, his mom and dad helped a lot, his sister,” she explained and added how Quentin adjusted his life for her. “The man gets put on the back burner, but he should have been put on the front burner because he was my rock. He got me through it, took me to appointments, and was my sounding board.” Now eleven years cancer free, Sarah again turns her attention to helping her adult children chase after their dreams.
For Malloree, who now works for Goodhue County in the Emergency Management Department, Sarah found it easy to support her daughter since “she follows her dreams and she fulfills them,” and consequently, “she kinda shaped us.” For her son Drake, Sarah relied on her own life experiences. “We’ve always told him since he was in high school–he was kinda like me–with a learning disability.” Just as Sarah found her role as a helper and manager, she identified her son’s strengths also. “I'm like ‘Drake, you're great at fishing. Follow that dream. It's okay to get away from the crowd and do your own thing.” With both parents supporting Drake’s interests over the past few seasons, he’s currently making his debut on the National Walleye Tour after finding success as an amateur.
In support of her children, Sarah finds herself traveling to fascinating places. From Malloree’s trips to Washington D.C. and New Mexico for bomb training to videotaping Drake’s excursions on various lakes and rivers, McCarthy now has time to make plans for herself also. “We want to travel more because we know life is short. We want to live life to the fullest.”
Having gone through challenges in her adult life, Sarah has some wise advice for current Eagles who are about to leave the nest: Be Kind. “I was mean to kids in school because I was hurting. I regret it to this day. You don't know what's going on with them at home and their personal life.”
After decades of watching secretaries run a high school office, I now understand the importance of running a tight-ship (there was nothing scary about Gloria at all), but little acts of kindness (like helping a rookie run a copier) can make lasting memories.
Life in 1996
Oscar Winner: The English Patient
Top-selling artist: Alanis Morissette
President: Bill Clinton
Viking Season: 9-7
Twins Season: 78-84
Price of gas: $1.23
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